Fear of Regret: The Elephant in Everyone’s Room. See it clearly. Use it Powerfully.

Regret has a way of sitting quietly in the corner—unspoken, ignored, and underestimated—until you finally look up and realize it’s been shaping your choices more than anything else. Most people treat the fear of regret the way they treat the “elephant in the room”: pretend it isn’t there, work around it, and hope it doesn’t step on anything important.

But here’s the truth: regret isn’t dangerous. Avoiding it is.

When fear of regret is left in the shadows, it creates resistance: hesitation, overthinking, second-guessing, and an almost gravitational pull back toward comfort. Not because the path ahead is wrong—but because the brain is wired to avoid emotional pain before it seeks opportunity. That wiring often turns the fear of doing something into the reason you do nothing at all.

And that’s the real risk.

The Two Sides of Regret

There are two types of regret you can experience:

1. Regret from action — “What if I try and fail?”

2. Regret from inaction — “What if doing nothing costs me more in the long run?”

Most people over-index on the first and completely underestimate the second. The brain is biased toward short-term safety, so the risk we feel is the risk of acting. But the consequence that actually shapes a life is the regret of not acting.

In other words, you’re afraid of the wrong thing.

The Psychology Behind It

Research shows that people feel short-term regret more intensely when it comes from taking action—but long-term regret more profoundly when it comes from missed opportunities. Over time, the sting of failure fades. But the “What if?” questions stay sharp.

When you stop viewing regret as a threat and start treating it as information, it becomes a powerful motivator. It shifts the question from:

“What happens if this doesn’t work?” to “What happens if I never take the shot?”

That’s where everything changes.

Turning the Fear Around

Instead of resisting the fear of regret, imagine using it as a compass:

• If something matters to you, the fear of not trying becomes louder than the fear of trying.

• If something could meaningfully change your future, inaction becomes the real risk.

• If a decision keeps whispering to you, that’s the part of your life asking to grow.

 I call this approach Regret-Driven Momentum—not the fear of missing out on what others are doing, but the fear of missing out on the version of your future that only exists if you take action. When harnessed correctly, it keeps you moving forward long after the initial decision is made and becomes a mindset springboard for lasting, consistent action.

The version of you who is stronger, more capable, more grounded, more aligned. The version of your business that expands because you finally put the idea into motion. The version of your life that feels like forward movement instead of a permanent pause.

A Simple Shift That Changes Everything

The next time you feel resistance—postponing the post, avoiding the gym, delaying the decision, hesitating on the opportunity—ask one question:

Which regret will matter more a year from now?

The regret of trying and learning? Or the regret of playing it safe and staying exactly where you are?

When you frame decisions this way, avoidance loses its power. The elephant in the room becomes a guide instead of a threat. And fear becomes the very thing that helps you move.

Because sometimes the fear you’re trying to avoid is the fear that should be directing you. And when you use it intentionally, regret stops being something you hide from— it becomes the push that gets you to the life, the work, and the impact waiting on the other side of action.

Turn Vision Into Action and Action Into Momentum

Interested in learning more? Visit jennymakeithappen.com, email jenny@jennymakeithappen.com, or text (856) 220-4068 to schedule a complimentary consultation and explore how we can design effective change management strategies tailored to align with your goals.

I help entrepreneurs, executives, professionals, and athletes turn pressure into performance, chaos into clarity, ideas into action, and action into momentum by utilizing neuroscience-based tools and Socratic questioning to cultivate focus, neural efficiency, cognitive flexibility, emotional regulation, and unwavering presence.

"Get excited about what you can control." – Jenny Ryan